Elopement - to be or not to be?

Written By Karen Lau

You’re engagee, congratulations!!!!
Now comes the question everyone asks but few truly answer: what kind of day feels like us?

Some couples dream of a long aisle, a room full of laughter, and dancing until midnight.
Others imagine waking to soft light, sharing vows by the sea, and breathing in the calm.

Neither is right or wrong - they’re just different ways of saying I do.

Somewhere between colour palettes and guest lists, that quiet thought starts to whisper: Maybe we should just elope.
And suddenly, it sticks.

You picture the two of you somewhere breathtaking - wind in your hair, no rush, no schedule.
Just you, your vows, and a view that feels like a secret.

Then reality kicks in: But aren’t we supposed to have a wedding?

Let’s talk about it, honestly, without the noise.

💍 The Wedding Route

Let’s start with the classic. Weddings are beautiful. They’re full of energy, tradition, and celebration. You get the speeches, the dance floor, the cake, the crowd.

If you’ve always dreamed of walking down the aisle surrounded by everyone you love, this might be your moment.

But weddings also come with… stuff.

  • Guest lists

  • Seating charts

  • Budget spreadsheets

  • Vendor meetings

  • Expectations (sooooo many expectations)

For some couples, that’s part of the magic - the joy of bringing everyone together, the buzz of celebration, the kind of love that fills a room.

For others, it’s a stress spiral in heels.

🌿 The Elopement Route

Now let’s talk about eloping, not the runaway-to-Vegas kind (unless that’s your vibe), but the modern, intentional kind.

Eloping today means choosing intimacy over spectacle. It’s about stripping away the performance and focusing on the connection.
It’s vows whispered on a windy cliff. It’s laughter in the rain. It’s holding hands in silence, knowing this is your moment.

Here’s what eloping can look like:

  • Just the two of you (or a handful of loved ones)

  • A location that feels like magic - beach, forest, mountain top

  • A flexible timeline with no rush

  • A photographer who captures the real stuff - not just the posed stuff

  • A day that feels like you, not like a checklist

It’s less about skipping the big day and more about reclaiming it.

🎯 So… Which One Is Right for You?

✅ Choose a Wedding If:

  • You love hosting and celebrating with a big group

  • You want traditional elements like speeches, dances, and rituals

  • You have the time, budget, and energy to plan

✅ Choose an Elopement If:

  • You value intimacy, flexibility, and freedom

  • You want a low-stress, high-emotion experience

  • You care more about the moment than the production

Ask Yourselves

  • What do we want to remember most about this day?

  • Do we want to perform or be present?

  • Are we doing this for us, or for everyone else?

There’s no wrong answer. But there is a right-for-you answer.

📸 My Take as a Photographer

I’ve photographed couples in forests, on beaches, in backyards, and on mountaintops and here’s what I’ve learned:

The most powerful photos come from real moments. Not the perfect pose. Not the Pinterest setup.

Just two people, being themselves, in a place that means something.

Whether you choose a wedding or an elopement, my job is to capture the magic that already exists between you.

But if you’re leaning toward eloping and wondering how it all works, I’d love to help you plan a day that feels completely like you.

💬 Let’s Talk

If you’re curious about eloping in New Zealand, the locations, the timeline and the vibe.
I offer free consults to help couples explore their options. No pressure, just possibilities.

✨ Ready to start dreaming?
Let’s create a day that feels like you - calm, wild, and real.

📩 Get in touch here to start planning your elopement story, or message me on Instagram @wonderlens.co.nz No pressure, just possibilities.

Karen Lau